Aloha

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Every year Mr. Darcy has a business trip in February to some lovely, sunny place. And there is much rejoicing. This year we went to the big island of Hawaii.  I spent the entire time trying to figure out how we can move to Hawaii. There must be a way.

Meanwhile in Yakima, they had 0 degree temperatures and like a foot of snow.  Hee!  Best timed vacation ever. The day we came home it was 55 degrees and sunny, so the snow has just about melted.  This winter is certainly looking up.

January is my undoing

So, hi. Long time no talk. How are you? I’m pretty good.

Here’s the thing… January paralyzes me. It is so dark and gloomy. The sun might appear for 10 hours combined throughout the entire 31 monotonous days of January and maybe I am photosynthetic or something, but after 3 weeks of gray skies my leaves start falling off and I wither up.

I can’t seem to manage anything extra. I get the kids where they need to be. I do the absolute minimum housework possible. I make dinner, do dishes, and exist. I don’t start projects, I don’t finish projects, I don’t take pictures, I just sit here and wilt and hope for sunshine.

I know what this is, I know I have seasonal depression. I know that I should get one of those lamps, I know that exercise would help, I know. I don’t feel sad. I just don’t have any energy to get on the treadmill or do anything besides sit on the couch, watch TV, read books and daydream about someday having a winter home on the equator.

I almost came here and announced that I was ending my blog, but decided it isn’t wise to make permanent decisions in January. I’m sure when the sun comes back I will have something to say. So, maybe check back in the spring?

Merry Christmas

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I tried this first two years ago when Lydia was just a squishy, immobile little tot. It worked better that time. And have you ever dreamed up a photoshoot, got everyone in their costumes, and then had the sun blare in through the window and ruin everything? I hate that.

But, anyway… Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Eight random thoughts arranged in list form

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1. It is Jane Austen’s birthday, folks. Go do yourself a favor and watch some Pride & Prejudice. Or read it. Reading is always nice. I stayed up wayyyyy too late last night reading our book club selection (Edenbrooke) and I think that book was wanting to be the next P&P, but it really wasn’t. More’s the pity. I stayed up until 2 a.m. to read about a chick that twirls herself into trees and rivers like a toddler.  I miss you, Jane Austen.
2. Is your December insanely busy like mine? Good gravy, I still haven’t even finished decorating! And then I wonder if there is any point in decorating when Christmas is 9 days away.
3. I heard a bunch of people complaining about their pre-lit trees’ lights not working, and I was all, “Pffft, our pre-lit tree is just fine and we have had it for 5+ years.” And then I plugged that butthole in and noticed two areas with no lights. Snap.
4. Our Advent calendar is laying on a bench instead of hung up. I bet it would be fun to actually move the candy cane each night, but no. It’s just laying there.
5. Kitty’s teacher brought in an Elf on a Shelf for their classroom so now my kids are aware of the blasted things. I’m resisting as much as possible because I really don’t need another thing to forget about each night during December. Plus also, those things are terrifying. I told Kitty we couldn’t have one and she said, “But, I love them! If you won’t buy one, I’ll ask Santa for one.” FREAKIN’ SANTA.
6. My basement is almost put back together.
7. It still hasn’t snowed, which is AWESOME. There is snow on the forecast for this weekend which is perfect timing as far as I’m concerned. School will be out, the kids can play in it and I don’t have to drive in it. In a perfect world, it would snow from December 20-26th. ONLY.
8. I never wrote up that Top Ten List about my mom’s bad cooking because… well, things that my siblings and I think are hilarious apparently don’t always translate to more functional humans. My sisters laughed and laughed over my other Top Ten List, but I’m not sure it was so funny to anyone raised outside the barn. ANYWAY, so instead of a list, I will give you this dazzling little nugget: According to Brady Family Lore, my mother once put green beans in cookies in place of chocolate chips. Any of you involved in a cookie exchange this month might want to give those bad boys a whirl.

Dream House of Horror

Have you ever seen someone from across a room that  you were sure was the most perfect human specimen on earth?  Someone that was just so good looking, you couldn’t look away?  And when you finally got up the courage to talk to them, you realize that they are a barking lunatic?  I mean, they say something like, “My beliefs are fairly commonplace and simple to understand. Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration.”  or “The biggest problem with the Star Wars prequels was that there wasn’t enough Jar Jar.”   And you think, I’m going to pretend I didn’t just hear that and stare really hard at that beautiful face.  Because… so pretty!

I think that is happening to me right now… with my house.

Last Wednesday, my sister in Utah texted me that she and her family of 5 were on their way to Yakima for our other sister’s wedding.  They were planning on staying here, and I thought, “I’ve got 10 hours to scrub this dump until it shines.”.  And also, “Yea!  My sister is coming!”.   A couple hours later, I heard beeping coming from somewhere, and told the kids to find the source.  And then there was screaming and panic because…  Well, did you know that fire alarms will go off when water is pouring through them?  I didn’t know that.

Something was shouted about my niece’s bedroom downstairs and beeping and that she was freaking out.  I ran downstairs and saw water gushing out of my niece’s bedroom ceiling, drenching  her bed, and pooling up on the carpet.  And then while I calmly ran to get a chair so that I could turn off our water (ahem, while I was running around in circles screaming Mormon swear words), part of the ceiling drywall collapsed onto her bed, and a tidal wave of  water spread down the hall and across half the basement.

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And so… we got to vacuum a couple inches of water out of our house Wednesday instead of getting my house ready for guests. Mr. Darcy kindly reminded me in calm, screaming tones that this is the 3rd time in four years this house has flooded and that he would like to set it on fire and dance naked around its burning shell. Mr. Darcy is better at removing himself from dysfunctional relationships than I am. He’s like, “That chick is crazy. Get away from me.” and I’m all, “Oooh, but it’s not her fault… I need to fix her! Her previous relationships did her wrong! They didn’t take care of her the way they should have!”.

An emergency plumber was able to squeeze us into his schedule, and the minute he shined his flashlight up into the ceiling he said, “NO!  NO!  NO!  WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!  YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”.  Because, the people that finished the basement used irrigation pipes inside the walls instead of pipes that are, you know, rated for in home use.  And so the plastic irrigation pipe failed and exploded water everywhere.  Now we have to try and find all of the faulty plumbing and replace it.  Which isn’t paid for by our home owner’s insurance because they cover the damage, but not what caused the problem in the first place.

So, let me tell you something that will probably make you scream and then vomit. The crew that came in to fix everything, cut away the drywall in the basement bathroom. AND! Guess what they found in the walls? Go ahead! Just make a guess. Isn’t this game fun? So much fun.

ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY MOUSE CORPSES. Apparently, the mice find their way in through some exterior hole, get trapped in the bathroom wall and die. Seriously, is anyone else feeling a little dizzy?

Oh, Pemberley, you psycho house beast.

Anyway, that’s my story.  How was your Thanksgiving?