So, Hey. It’s me, Kitty. I’ll be taking over the blog post for today as a favor to my mom. She says I owe her for something-or-other. I don’t know, honestly. She’s been moaning at me non-stop today, so I started to tune her out.
I know my mom always posts fancy stuff about our house that she likes… windows and stairs, crap like that. That stuff is totally lame. Trust me, I’ve fallen down those stairs and they are not cool. And every time I play Monkey Bars on the stairs, my mom freaks out and starts hollering about how the banister isn’t a jungle gym or whatever, so I honestly don’t know why she says she likes them so much.
Anyway, for the most part, I could take or leave this new house. But, there is one part that is really sweet. We have a large pantry off the kitchen, and it is stocked FULL of my favorite stuff… applesauce, juice boxes, crackers. My very favorite is that cereal that has marshmallows in it. That stuff is awesome. I can’t pronounce the name, so I just call it “Candy Cane” and then everyone laughs at me like it’s a great joke. Idiots. I’d like to see them pronounce marshmallow when they were 20 months old.
My mom is a kill-joy so she always loops this thing around the knobs so I can’t get into the pantry.
Stupid. But, every now and then the big kids forget to lock it back up and man, oh man… it’s the best. This morning was one of those days, so I quickly found a cereal box and started looking for the marshmallows. It must have been a faulty box, because there wasn’t a single one inside. I knew everyone else was probably going to be as disappointed as I was, so I took care of it by dumping the junk out all over the floor. Problem solved.
Then my mom saw how I had saved the family from non-candy cane cereal and started fussing at me about wasting a brand new box and blah blah blah… While she was sweeping it up, I continued my search for the good stuff. I peeked inside the dining room, and JACKPOT! There it was up on the table.
Yessssssssss! Life is good.
When mom walks in and starts fussing again about how I’ve spilled another box of cereal on the floor. I honestly don’t understand the big deal here… Why she can’t just eat it off the floor? I do it all the time.
So anyway, I ignore her and keep picking through all the gross pieces trying to find the candy cane pieces. Why do they put those other pieces in there, anyway? They taste like butt.
That gave me an idea… Obviously, mom didn’t like when I threw the gross stuff on the floor, so I thought of another place to put them.
And of course, my mom went off about how putting food in our pants is yucky and blah blah blah. Whatever, lady. You are impossible to please.
So, there you have it. The best thing about this house is the un-locked pantry full of snacks.