The way I attempt a picture of my kids is like this…
1. Tell the oldest three that it is time for a picture.
2. Use many threatening phrases and dirty looks to terrify them into obedience.
3. Try to cluster them into a semi-appealing grouping.
4. Forget to check their faces for dirt or food stains.
5. Ask them to stop picking their noses for just thirty seconds, for the love of snot.
6. Remind them not to cross their eyes.
7. Quickly notice that their shoes don’t match or that their outfit is ugly, but decide that we are going for an “honest” representation of our family so pretend not to care.
8. When everyone is primed and ready… Release The Toddler.
9. Start taking rapid fire pictures hoping to catch The Toddler in a natural pose.
10. DO NOT speak to or engage The Toddler.
11. Absolutely never make eye contact with The Toddler.
12. Once you have a handful of pictures with The Toddler in the shot, quickly end the session.
13. Under no circumstances try to direct The Toddler into sitting a certain place or looking at the camera. Get in, get out… before anyone gets hurt.
14. Repeat next week.