I found these pictures on the computer today. They are terrible quality, and not very good pictures to begin with, but they tripped me out. This was Lizzy (and one of The Boy) way back when. She was two. –The same age as Kitty is now.
Isn’t that the sweetest headlock you’ve ever seen? I passed out immediately after this photo was taken. And this was back when The Boy was still 90% head. It had its own weather system!
Here’s the thing that trips me out. I remember this. And in my mind, Lizzy was so much more mature than where I would rate Kitty right now. So, was it a first time mom thing, where I overestimated the understanding of my child? Or was she born older? I still think of Kitty as a baby, and Lizzy… well, she has been a perpetual teenager in my mind.
Do you ever wish you could go back and start over with your oldest child? I have changed so much as a parent… Maybe I was making things harder than they had to be? And by “maybe”, I mean “definitely”. “Repeatedly”. “Every single day”.
Anyway, today I took Lizzy and her friend to see Secretariat. Halfway through the movie, she laid her head on my shoulder and held my hand for the rest of the movie. It was sweet and totally unexpected. I wondered how much longer I have before she wouldn’t dream of showing affection in front of a friend. When will she be too good for me? When will I embarrass her (more)?
Ugh. I’m not looking forward to it, but I know there is no way around it, either. There have been two occasions where I have asked advice from more experienced parents and was not the slightest bit reassured. One was when I would ask, “How bad does pushing hurt during natural labor?” and the women would immediately change the subject. Like, “Oooh, here… Try this cookie.” And of course, that was all it took to get my mind off of the approaching pain.
The other is when I tell parents of teens that I am worried about surviving the teen years, and they do an evil sort of cackle and say, “Well, I don’t know what to tell you, but it is worse than anything you can even imagine.” Mercy. I prefer the distraction method where you pretend it won’t be complete hell and offer me a cookie instead.
I am terrified.