Do you have quail where you live? We have a large flock of quail that call the grounds of Pemberley their home. (I love to refer to my yard as “the grounds” because it is so Jane Austeny. Really, it’s just two acres of weeds plus a driveway.)
I enjoy quail. They are cute, running around with that feather on the top of their heads. A mama quail with her babies running along behind her is one of my favorite sights. Baby quail are absolutely adorable. I feel bad for them, though, because they are going to grow up to become the dumbest animals alive.
This experience happens weekly here at Pemberley…
I will pull onto our dirt road to find about 40 quail pecking around for food in front of me. As they see my car approach, they startle.
Quail: A CAR!!!!!! A CARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
Quail: What do we do??? WHAT DO WE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO???!
Quail: We are going to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Slightly less stupid Quail: Run! We should run!!!
Quail: Yes! Run in front of the car!!! Run in front of the car!
And so the entire flock of quail runs in front of my car. I slow way down. They start to zigzag frantically.
Slightly less stupid Quail: This feels wrong! I think this might be wrong.
Quail: The car is coming towards us!!!Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Quail: We’re going to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Slightly less stupid Quail: Wait! I’ve got it… We should run AWAY from the car! Yes, AWAY!!!
Quail: RUN AWAYYYYYYYY! RUN AWAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
When my car is just feet away from them, the entire flock swerves to the right.
Quail: It’s too close! It’s still too close!
Quail: We’re going to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Slightly less stupid Quail: Seems like we’re forgetting something.
Quail: The wheels are going to crush me!!!!!
Slightly less stupid Quail: No, really… I’m sure we aren’t thinking of something.
Quail: My entire stupid life is flashing before my eyes!!!
Slightly less stupid Quail: Wait! We are birds. We should fly!
QUAIL: YESSSSS!!!! FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
QUAIL: FLYYYYYYYYYYY! FLYYYYYYYYYY!!!
And at the last possible second, they fly away. And I breathe a sigh of relief that I didn’t just crush the tiny, tiny brains of forty idiotic quail.
But, they sure are cute.