She has spent the last 14 months carefully observing and absorbing all of the sass that is prevalent in this home. She has stealthily been plotting her uprising. We thought she was just quietly eating in her high chair while our noisy world went on around her. No. She was scheming her eventual coup.
She has rapidly added to her vocabulary. She has over 20 words and adds more every couple days. But, the other 18 words don’t get nearly as much play time as her two favorite, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” and “STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!”. Print cannot communicate the horrible guttural tone that comes from her adorable throat when yelling them. It makes my blood run cold.
And now if I put her down, she screams “NO! STOPPP! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!” all the while swinging her arms and hoping they will connect with some part of me. Because nothing makes a woman want to cuddle someone as much as the threat of physical violence.
Awww, sweet girl. What has happened here?!
Toddlers are my people. They are so cute how they waddle around with their bellies bulging and their heads that are too big for their bodies. The mispronunciations, their funny attempts at language. Still babyish and soft, but becoming more independent every day.
You can keep those newborns that just sit around like slugs and demand constant attention and smell so delicious. I’ll take a walking, sleeping toddler any day. The adorableness always balances out the pulling-everything-out-of-drawers, playing-in-the-toilet, and other undesirable habits.
Things are not going according to plan. She was my last toddler. I was supposed to have one more chance to soak in all her one year old goodness, bask in her toddlery glow.
What the H, Mario!? Where did my sweetheart go? Has she become possessed by Satan? Freakin’ Satan!! He ruins everything! Do we need an excorcism? Is this just motivation for me to click “BUY” on that Home Hysterectomy Kit I’ve been eyeing on etsy?